Oh honey, you don't have enough money for that!!

So after I begin this blog with a dirt bag story from one of massage sessions, it just gets better---way better! So I will start this blog by saying that I am officially registered for classes in the fall...I will be keeping my clientel very selective.



So I'm at work one day just minding my own business when I man (wish I could say gentlemen) walks in asking about massage services. I step forward to introduce myself as the massage therapist and an appointment follows for MR. Mark Johnson. I come to work the next day and Mark Johnson is my first appointment. The massage goes as usual and he pays and leaves.

Well I come to work the next day, Thursday only to find that ANOTHER Mark Johnson is on my books at 5?! Well when he comes to the appointment I gently remind him that a massage following one the previous day may make him feel as though he was hit by a truck. He insists on it as he is a basketball coach that needs work on his hip flexors. I begin the massage and it goes fine, no words exchanged besides checking in with the client. About half way through the massage he asks for work only on the core and hip flexors. Red flags start waving in the air. For those of you that may not know that is only the middle of the body.

I continue the massage being very cautious about what I am doing. With about twenty minutes left on the clock I realize that this man is aroused....what?! Yes, fully loaded and ready to go. Well I am not that kind of massage therapist, we aren't in Thailand anymore Dorothy. So I let it go as massage can cause this sort of reaction. What I know doesn't usually happen is having the client act upon it. Well Mr. JOHNSON decides to pull the sheet down to show me his erect johnson. No undies, no nothin' just the weener. Shocked and amazed I pull the sheet up quickly and end the massage session promptly.

As I walk out of the room shaking in my boots I realize that I am the only one left in the salon at this point. The whole salon has left during my session with this guy. He comes out and acts as if nothing has happened. I take his money and lock the door right behind him. The investigator that I am I was aware of a few things. First that his key chain read Life Christian, second that he was married and third that he was here for NBC camps up at the college.

When I got home Nathan filed a police report promptly. After the police left we decided to google this Mark Johnson. Well turns out after we weren't successful with that name we looked up the schools name. There it was the basketball team and the coach Mark......but not Mark Johnson. He had given me a false last name and false address. Once we had the real name I was able to notify the police so that this dirt bag could be taken care of.

So as the picture above states, nudity prohibited people!!! Keeps your penis in your pants! MASSAGE THERAPY ONLY!

Sex and THE BIG City!

Karlee, Kelsey and Kim waiting for the rest of the party!

For the last couple of years we have been anticipating the movie follow up for Sex and the City. Anyone who is an avid viewer of this sitcom would be in anticipation. What makes it better is that once word hit the street that it was going to happen the real excitement started. For the past few months my sisters and a couple of girlfriends and I have all been warning the husbands that May 30th we are busy, very busy.

We dressed up, found our best 'sex' outfit and went for dinner and drinks. At 8 'o'clock sharp we hit the movie theatre, only to be greeted with the fact that they placed it in the small theatre. WTF? With our necks crinked we enjoyed the fantastic follow up for Carrie, Char, Samantha and Miranda. It was a winner and thoroughly enjoyed. The rest of the night however.....

Karlee doing what she does best, act a fool!

Trotting to the movies!

Talking about some very serious stuff!

Audra, Kelsey, Jessie, Kimberly, Heather and Karlee all tipsy for the show!

So the rest of this night was a sad disappointment. The bar was packed after the movie with girls dressed in their wannabe Versace dresses and minolo's! We didn't have a place to sit and felt out of place in the hick town we live in....reality check, we were NOT in NY. I loved getting a girls night out, but realized quickly we weren't kids anymore, time to go home to the family.

Moving on....

I have been so blessed the last two years of my life. I was given the gift of becoming a mother, and one that could stay home with her baby for as long as she wanted. I was given the opportunity to work full time as soon as I was licensed as a massage therapist and chose not to. However, six months ago I started practicing part time in a salon called Top Secret.

I haven't been very busy and it hasn't been the exact idea I had for my profession. One of my friends, also a therapist, is taking a three month leave while she enjoys her second baby. I have been given the honor to work in place of her while she is out. Needless to say I get to start working in a salon and spa that has a deep clientele for massage. Not only that but it's an amazing group of people I could get use to working next to for a long time.

Thank you Angie for this opportunity, with out her consent I wouldn't have this option available. When Angie comes back we will either share the spot or I will take over the facial room. I am so excited you have no idea!

Where's Eliott goin? Well I have found him a surrogate mother named, my sister. Kelsey my closest friend and sister has a two year old son that is Eliott's pseudo brother. It works out nicely that I can start making a little bit more money and as a result I can put some extra cash in my sisters pocket.

Here's Eliott and Seth playing in the sprinkler!

And playing in the dirt like boys do.

And giving each other a ride of a lifetime!

Needless to say I feel overly blessed and grateful for the opportunity ahead of me. So those of you here in town, I am now at Evolution Salon and Spa, 212 Greenwood St. I hope you are all well and until next time.....

Ready, Set, Go!!

I finished, and I finished well! My goals were met and I had a blast, the two things I wanted to accomplish out of this new avenue! Like bike racing I see this becoming my new thing, my new niche! When we arrived in Eugene I saw the magnitude of what this was. There was 6,000 competitors there! It was insane that this race was the size of half of La Grande's population! The course was amazing and I felt great the whole time! My main struggle in training was that I would get a stitch in my right side for the first half hour of each run, during the race that didn't happen. I did a couple things different: first, I ran a mile before the race at a comfortable pace just to warm up...second, I didn't listen to music and that allowed me to really focus on what my body and breath was doing! It was a huge accomplishment!

I my overall place in the half marathon category was 156 out of 2640, and 8th place out of 268 in my division! I ran in it 1:36, my pace was 7:22 per mile! Just thought I'd let you all know how it went!

Running through the streets like cattle!

Me, Janelle and Kim! They did amazing too!

Coming in for the finish!

Hitting the Pavement!

Well it is approaching rather fast, perhaps too fast. I am participating in the Eugene Marathon this sunday, I'm only doing the half marathon that is....13.1 miles. Racing a bike I understand, however hitting the pavement on my own two feet is a new beginning for me.

I know that I won't be one of the women who set 1:15 records, but I have goals. I have been training, maybe training too much. I completed my last long run this past sunday. It included a 14.5 mile run in 1:59. I had a blast doing it so I know that I am capable of my goal of 1:45 on the half marathon. My husband informed me the other night that I could in fact complete this run in 1:30---right. Well all times set aside I look forward to seeing some old friends and taking part a new tradition in Eugene, OR...the Eugene Marathon! Woo hoo! I'll post pictures and details when we get back from our latest adventures to Portland and Eugene. Love you guys!

Quite....

So I begin this blog with a reminder that massage therapy is a stepping stone into my brighter future! I had the delight in having two of the worlds strangest clients this past week. I will share one story with you.

Massage Therapy as a career when you have a small child and husband has proven itself challenging. All of the nurturing I do as a good wife and mother (wink wink) is draining enough. I thought it couldn't get any worse when someone called from the Best Western asking if I could go to his hotel room to perform the 'session'. I told the receptionist if someone asks that again don't book them at all, have some disernment people. Thinking back to this business man from Miami, I guess the salon name was a little enticing, 'Top Secret Salon'. The receptionist went ahead and booked him for a one hour massage at the salon. Upon his arrival he greeted me with, "So where can I find a good beer after this massage?" I thought to myself, "beer isn't exactly great post massage..BUT.....1o Depot or Benchwarmers". So I take him back to the room and tell him to lay face down on the table and I'd be right back. I go back to a naked 50 year old man just leaving it all out for me to rub. So I pull the sheet up on him just to be told to pull it down because he 'gets hot'. I started the massage, dodging comments about how I wasn't exactly ugly, and why was I already settled down and married. I diverted the comments as much as possible until he said I would be sexy in a dress and high heels, instead of my jeans and tshirt. I turned him over and quickly covered his jewels that I could see the whole time he was laying face down with legs spread! GAG! At the end of the massage he asked me if it was normal to get that aroused during a massage. I immediately pulled away from the massage and told him I would meet him out front when he was dressed. At the counter he asked if the therapist (myself) could have alcohol, I quickly reminded him that I was married and no. He looked at me and said, "so you can't go out with me?" I shook my head and he left the salon! What a story huh! I couldn't believe it. Fall term at EOU isn't approaching fast enough!!

For now....