So I don't want to be a drag but I hate the winter. I have tried the last couple of years to really embrace the winter months. With out these months I could not enjoy the other months as much as I do, right? wrong. very wrong. When the sun is going down after I am finally coherent, I have a hard time with that embrace.
Not only is the winter hard for me as a neurotic germaphobe (sp?), I feel it really wears on my relationships and emotions. I tend to suck inward even more than I do naturally. I begin this long winter introspective thinking pattern, which can be good (see previous blog). Perhaps it is because we are pent up indoors and have immense amounts of time for reflective thinking. I think I spend this reflective thinking period on memories and what could have been, should have been.
When picking up the literature for alcoholics anonymous it tells you to live in the now. So this is what I will begin making an effort on. Living now, not tomorrow, or last night, or ten years ago...now. It's funny to think how many of us don't do this. I don't. I am thinking about the next bike ride, run, event that will gratify my selfish desires. I know I miss moments with my son, or family because I'm somewhere else in my mind. I know it's time to make my paradigm shift even more than my creative desires.
There is more to life than going, doing and becoming. Breathe. Take everything around you in, because in a second it can and will be gone.
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