thoughts on winter.

So I don't want to be a drag but I hate the winter.  I have tried the last couple of years to really embrace the winter months.  With out these months I could not enjoy the other months as much as I do, right?  wrong.  very wrong.  When the sun is going down after I am finally coherent, I have a hard time with that embrace.  

Not only is the winter hard for me as a neurotic germaphobe (sp?), I feel it really wears on my relationships and emotions.  I tend to suck inward even more than I do naturally.  I begin this long winter introspective thinking pattern, which can be good (see previous blog).  Perhaps it is because we are pent up indoors and have immense amounts of time for reflective thinking.  I think I spend this reflective thinking period on memories and what could have been, should have been.

When picking up the literature for alcoholics anonymous it tells you to live in the now.  So this is what I will begin making an effort on.  Living now, not tomorrow, or last night, or ten years ago...now.  It's funny to think how many of us don't do this.  I don't.  I am thinking about the next bike ride, run, event that will gratify my selfish desires.  I know I miss moments with my son, or family because I'm somewhere else in my mind.  I know it's time to make my paradigm shift even more than my creative desires.  

There is more to life than going, doing and becoming.  Breathe.  Take everything around you in, because in a second it can and will be gone.

Selfish Introspect?

Seven years ago I thrived on my creative process. Riding a bike for four hours at a time, or running a marathon were not on the forefront of my mind. In fact, they were no where in my mind. As I recall my first time on a road bike I was terrified of the speed----even at 10mph. Pushing myself to the limit or making ridiculous athletic goals were no where on my list of endeavors.

This particular period in my life I was learning about good wine, cheese and chocolate---french films and real music. The days of sipping on coffee at 'The Market' in downtown Denver, sketching in my notepad. Oh that's right, I was pursuing art and creative writing at 'that time'. My journals were full of introspective thinking, a bit of sulking if you will. I think I had the ability to feel pretty well back then.

A shift occurred in the year 2001. My focus shifted dramatically from what mattered, to what I had to prove. I met valuable people that have challenged me mentally, even more so physically. I began riding bikes, racing, training, then consuming cycling 24/7. With this shift I lost all of my creative desires. I was numbed, drained and wasted from driving myself into the ground. As the years have passed I have realized that this athletic pursuit has become my anti-depressant, evolving into my addiction.

When running the Marathon in November I had a lot to consider during those 26.2 miles. Why was I doing what I was doing, and what happened to me? I felt as though every mile ran, every pedal stroke in the last 7 years I had lost pieces of my core being. Was there a way to be an efficient athlete and artist? I had drained myself of all emotion as a self avoidance mechanism. A week ago I decided it was time to face the music.

In all my self-image issues I decided to do a self portrait, perhaps even a series of them. Not only to take inventory on how I viewed myself, but to practice those long lost art skills. Come to find out when I save some physical energy I still have a creative process, and the joy from that is more fulfilling than completing 26.2 miles on foot.

Here is the first draft of the portrait. I share this photo with all of you that are important in my life, it's a vulnerable state that I wish to stay in...it makes me a better person, friend, wife and mother. I hope to become a more successful artist and efficient athlete as well.

"I'm not that hardcore to just go in my pants"

November 30th came and went......well not just like that, it was a staple in my identity crossing that finish line. The finish line I am talking about is the Seattle Marathon. The marathon that mind you is NOT a P.R. (personal record) course. So much so that at mile 21 they place a staircase hill right in front of you to run up---really people are we trying to kill the competitors?


Through out the training of this marathon I didn't follow the program as I should have, I realize this now. You have weekly speed work outs, short runs, tempo runs, long runs and rest days. Well because of my history as a bike racer I decided to supplement bike in place of speed work outs, as well as a lot of cross training. Okay, so I ran two times a week one of those runs being a long run. Needless to say at mile 20, the mile marker I stopped training at, I crashed.

The race started brisk. I stayed with the pacers for an 8 minute mile, 3:30 marathon time. Like I mentioned before I felt strong until mile 20.....only to be faced with a treacherous hill at 21.....not to mention all the "rollers" before that. So at 21 the pacer and a few other runners slowly ran away from me. I struggled for a couple of miles and then pulled my head together to finish strong. Allowing me to finish in 3:33 instead of 3:30. This is a time I can only be proud of considering it was my first marathon, on a slow hilly course too!

At the finish I reveled in what I just accomplished, hoping to be in the top ten of my division, well I guess I will settle with 14th in my division--as well as 33rd out of all 773 women! Now on to a more disciplined structured training program, I hope to have a 3:15 time in Eugene, and maybe 3 hours in Portland. We'll cross our fingers. Needless to say I am addicted!!

About the staple in my identity. I have always related fitness to bike racing and thinking that is what I need to succeed at to be a good athlete. An old friend introduced me to the sport and he has excelled above and beyond, my pre race jitters and fear of speed all kept me from excelling in that sport. So when I crossed that finish line I realized that all that base fitness from the bike totally prepared me for a new life in competitve racing----running. New doors open and I see myself as a new individual with nothing to prove to anyone but myself.....race on!

El giving me a post race massage!!

Just finishing.....exhausted.

Family photo before the start!!

Change is inevitable.....

I saw this picture on flicker and thought it was pretty neat. I guess we don't pay attention to the seasons that closely, we just complain of too hot-too cold. I love the middle photo because that is my favorite time of year, but we are quickly transitioning into a cooler climate. This makes me very sad because I tend to turn into somewhat of a basket case in the winter months. If you don't see me around I am guarding myself and my family from the nasty colds and flus, and being a freak about it to put it lightly.

I was out on my long run for the week (18 miles) and just feeling the clouds descending on to my mood. I just craved the sun hitting my shoulders as I pattered through the valley. That didn't happen at all, instead I had to overcome 18 miles of mental struggle. My body was feeling great although I was stuck on my couch mentally. I got through it. I am home now just trying to figure out how I can become a little more positive today. I will try to peel myself off the couch and do something productive, but I am thinking this is highly unlikely.

In other news, we will be heading to Portland this week and this is something I can smile about. Good food, good riding, and great family! I hope to relax and appreciate my former pacific northwest. Enjoy your week and hopefully I will come home with exciting stories.

Oh honey, you don't have enough money for that!!

So after I begin this blog with a dirt bag story from one of massage sessions, it just gets better---way better! So I will start this blog by saying that I am officially registered for classes in the fall...I will be keeping my clientel very selective.



So I'm at work one day just minding my own business when I man (wish I could say gentlemen) walks in asking about massage services. I step forward to introduce myself as the massage therapist and an appointment follows for MR. Mark Johnson. I come to work the next day and Mark Johnson is my first appointment. The massage goes as usual and he pays and leaves.

Well I come to work the next day, Thursday only to find that ANOTHER Mark Johnson is on my books at 5?! Well when he comes to the appointment I gently remind him that a massage following one the previous day may make him feel as though he was hit by a truck. He insists on it as he is a basketball coach that needs work on his hip flexors. I begin the massage and it goes fine, no words exchanged besides checking in with the client. About half way through the massage he asks for work only on the core and hip flexors. Red flags start waving in the air. For those of you that may not know that is only the middle of the body.

I continue the massage being very cautious about what I am doing. With about twenty minutes left on the clock I realize that this man is aroused....what?! Yes, fully loaded and ready to go. Well I am not that kind of massage therapist, we aren't in Thailand anymore Dorothy. So I let it go as massage can cause this sort of reaction. What I know doesn't usually happen is having the client act upon it. Well Mr. JOHNSON decides to pull the sheet down to show me his erect johnson. No undies, no nothin' just the weener. Shocked and amazed I pull the sheet up quickly and end the massage session promptly.

As I walk out of the room shaking in my boots I realize that I am the only one left in the salon at this point. The whole salon has left during my session with this guy. He comes out and acts as if nothing has happened. I take his money and lock the door right behind him. The investigator that I am I was aware of a few things. First that his key chain read Life Christian, second that he was married and third that he was here for NBC camps up at the college.

When I got home Nathan filed a police report promptly. After the police left we decided to google this Mark Johnson. Well turns out after we weren't successful with that name we looked up the schools name. There it was the basketball team and the coach Mark......but not Mark Johnson. He had given me a false last name and false address. Once we had the real name I was able to notify the police so that this dirt bag could be taken care of.

So as the picture above states, nudity prohibited people!!! Keeps your penis in your pants! MASSAGE THERAPY ONLY!

Sex and THE BIG City!

Karlee, Kelsey and Kim waiting for the rest of the party!

For the last couple of years we have been anticipating the movie follow up for Sex and the City. Anyone who is an avid viewer of this sitcom would be in anticipation. What makes it better is that once word hit the street that it was going to happen the real excitement started. For the past few months my sisters and a couple of girlfriends and I have all been warning the husbands that May 30th we are busy, very busy.

We dressed up, found our best 'sex' outfit and went for dinner and drinks. At 8 'o'clock sharp we hit the movie theatre, only to be greeted with the fact that they placed it in the small theatre. WTF? With our necks crinked we enjoyed the fantastic follow up for Carrie, Char, Samantha and Miranda. It was a winner and thoroughly enjoyed. The rest of the night however.....

Karlee doing what she does best, act a fool!

Trotting to the movies!

Talking about some very serious stuff!

Audra, Kelsey, Jessie, Kimberly, Heather and Karlee all tipsy for the show!

So the rest of this night was a sad disappointment. The bar was packed after the movie with girls dressed in their wannabe Versace dresses and minolo's! We didn't have a place to sit and felt out of place in the hick town we live in....reality check, we were NOT in NY. I loved getting a girls night out, but realized quickly we weren't kids anymore, time to go home to the family.

Moving on....

I have been so blessed the last two years of my life. I was given the gift of becoming a mother, and one that could stay home with her baby for as long as she wanted. I was given the opportunity to work full time as soon as I was licensed as a massage therapist and chose not to. However, six months ago I started practicing part time in a salon called Top Secret.

I haven't been very busy and it hasn't been the exact idea I had for my profession. One of my friends, also a therapist, is taking a three month leave while she enjoys her second baby. I have been given the honor to work in place of her while she is out. Needless to say I get to start working in a salon and spa that has a deep clientele for massage. Not only that but it's an amazing group of people I could get use to working next to for a long time.

Thank you Angie for this opportunity, with out her consent I wouldn't have this option available. When Angie comes back we will either share the spot or I will take over the facial room. I am so excited you have no idea!

Where's Eliott goin? Well I have found him a surrogate mother named, my sister. Kelsey my closest friend and sister has a two year old son that is Eliott's pseudo brother. It works out nicely that I can start making a little bit more money and as a result I can put some extra cash in my sisters pocket.

Here's Eliott and Seth playing in the sprinkler!

And playing in the dirt like boys do.

And giving each other a ride of a lifetime!

Needless to say I feel overly blessed and grateful for the opportunity ahead of me. So those of you here in town, I am now at Evolution Salon and Spa, 212 Greenwood St. I hope you are all well and until next time.....

Ready, Set, Go!!

I finished, and I finished well! My goals were met and I had a blast, the two things I wanted to accomplish out of this new avenue! Like bike racing I see this becoming my new thing, my new niche! When we arrived in Eugene I saw the magnitude of what this was. There was 6,000 competitors there! It was insane that this race was the size of half of La Grande's population! The course was amazing and I felt great the whole time! My main struggle in training was that I would get a stitch in my right side for the first half hour of each run, during the race that didn't happen. I did a couple things different: first, I ran a mile before the race at a comfortable pace just to warm up...second, I didn't listen to music and that allowed me to really focus on what my body and breath was doing! It was a huge accomplishment!

I my overall place in the half marathon category was 156 out of 2640, and 8th place out of 268 in my division! I ran in it 1:36, my pace was 7:22 per mile! Just thought I'd let you all know how it went!

Running through the streets like cattle!

Me, Janelle and Kim! They did amazing too!

Coming in for the finish!

Hitting the Pavement!

Well it is approaching rather fast, perhaps too fast. I am participating in the Eugene Marathon this sunday, I'm only doing the half marathon that is....13.1 miles. Racing a bike I understand, however hitting the pavement on my own two feet is a new beginning for me.

I know that I won't be one of the women who set 1:15 records, but I have goals. I have been training, maybe training too much. I completed my last long run this past sunday. It included a 14.5 mile run in 1:59. I had a blast doing it so I know that I am capable of my goal of 1:45 on the half marathon. My husband informed me the other night that I could in fact complete this run in 1:30---right. Well all times set aside I look forward to seeing some old friends and taking part a new tradition in Eugene, OR...the Eugene Marathon! Woo hoo! I'll post pictures and details when we get back from our latest adventures to Portland and Eugene. Love you guys!

Quite....

So I begin this blog with a reminder that massage therapy is a stepping stone into my brighter future! I had the delight in having two of the worlds strangest clients this past week. I will share one story with you.

Massage Therapy as a career when you have a small child and husband has proven itself challenging. All of the nurturing I do as a good wife and mother (wink wink) is draining enough. I thought it couldn't get any worse when someone called from the Best Western asking if I could go to his hotel room to perform the 'session'. I told the receptionist if someone asks that again don't book them at all, have some disernment people. Thinking back to this business man from Miami, I guess the salon name was a little enticing, 'Top Secret Salon'. The receptionist went ahead and booked him for a one hour massage at the salon. Upon his arrival he greeted me with, "So where can I find a good beer after this massage?" I thought to myself, "beer isn't exactly great post massage..BUT.....1o Depot or Benchwarmers". So I take him back to the room and tell him to lay face down on the table and I'd be right back. I go back to a naked 50 year old man just leaving it all out for me to rub. So I pull the sheet up on him just to be told to pull it down because he 'gets hot'. I started the massage, dodging comments about how I wasn't exactly ugly, and why was I already settled down and married. I diverted the comments as much as possible until he said I would be sexy in a dress and high heels, instead of my jeans and tshirt. I turned him over and quickly covered his jewels that I could see the whole time he was laying face down with legs spread! GAG! At the end of the massage he asked me if it was normal to get that aroused during a massage. I immediately pulled away from the massage and told him I would meet him out front when he was dressed. At the counter he asked if the therapist (myself) could have alcohol, I quickly reminded him that I was married and no. He looked at me and said, "so you can't go out with me?" I shook my head and he left the salon! What a story huh! I couldn't believe it. Fall term at EOU isn't approaching fast enough!!

For now....